The Weak That Was

 Dateline: Punyville, February 22, 2015
The word weak can mean a variety of things, a fair amount of them bad. Stuff like feeble, lame, spineless, muted, diluted and half-hearted.


Lame and spineless are personal favorites because examples come in so many different flavors. Today, we focus on just three that happened in the week ending yesterday.


First is the President’s Terror Summit. To begin with, the name is lame. It elevates terrorism to a new high. Then there was the content of the speeches, and a huge number of speeches there were. They focused mainly on the sociology of terrorism.


Poverty and the lack of education and opportunity grow little terrorists like weeds. Solving social issues in far away countries is how terrorism will be defeated.


So we need to set up a whole bunch of career expos – a different kind of boots on the ground.


Of course, the grown up terrorists who’ve already made their career decisions will not be fans of the expos. But, they probably will like the fresh supply of defenseless bodies running them. If only someone would think ahead because it’s difficult to think without one.


The Summit’s conclusions on terrorism were panned in opinion pieces from a very wide variety of sources – such as the World Social Web Site (“barely coherent banalities”), CNN (“nonsense”) and Fox News (“meandering, unfocused and” – our favorite – “weak”).


Their opinions of what causes terrorism were just as diverse. They range from U.S. wars of aggression (WSWS), to perverted religious ideology (CNN) to someone really cares? (Fox).


Their solutions vary widely as well – end wars of aggression, provide religious education from Islamic leaders and scholars and kill, kill, kill. You can figure out which solution came from which source.


At the end of the day, the White House prefers to lecture people to death. No wonder they say it will take years to defeat ISIS. It may actually take forever because nobody’s actually listening.


Second is the video ISIS released on February 15. It purports to depict the beheading of 21 Egyptian Coptic Christians along a Mediterranean shoreline in Libya. In retaliation, Egypt bombed the most likely Libyan site.


Yesterday, we learned that the slaughter probably occurred in a sound studio, location unknown, with the background added into the video. Film editing is a great way to get friends to bomb friends.


Third is the guy who showed up at a justice of the peace office ahead of his betrothed. When pressed, the groom-to-be could not remember his soon-to-be bride’s name. Smelling something fishy, the official called immigration.


Yes, it was a sham marriage so the groom could stay in the country rather than be deported on his about-to-expire visa. Gee, let’s see. If you’re going to pull a scam, it’s best to be able to identify all the moving parts or you just might stall out – right into the slammer.


We can’t wait to see what this week brings.