The Perfect New Year’s Resolution

Think of all the New Year’s resolutions you’ve ever made. Truth be told, weren’t they a gargantuan waste of time? Really H-U-G-E? Why? Take me, for example. Oh, wait. You can’t. I never make New Year’s resolutions because they’re mostly aimed at self-improvement. Since I was improved at birth, there’s no point.

But, Sidney is a good example. Each year, she sits happily in her study, making her list. You know, the kind of stuff everyone writes down. Things like spend more time with our pack, bark less at the neighbors, try not to wolf down the kibble, be more responsive to commands. Yada yada yada. It never works. Oh, it might last for a week or two or maybe even three. But, pretty soon – timber! The mighty resolutions fall and break into tiny little pieces. The end.

Surprisingly enough, this isn’t really a shock to a lot of people. They know resolutions are a bust. So, they skip making any for themselves. But, being human, they just can’t resist wishing things were different so they make resolutions for other humans, or organizations or even countries. I’m sure you’ve heard about them. World peace, clean environment, plenty of food to go around, health for everyone on the planet. Stuff like that. It’s all silliness too, because no amount of scribbling on little pieces of paper will make any of it happen.

So, how about this for the perfect New Year’s resolution? Resolve to stop making them. That’s right. Call it quits. You know you want to. Take a pass on the whole improvement-wishing trip. It’s a dead end. You are who you are. The world is what it is. Get comfortable with it or, if you insist, change something or other. But stop writing because that list became an end in itself a long time ago. It’s nothing more than a substitute for action. Let it go.

What makes the no-resolution resolution so perfect? Two things. First off, since making a resolution is an excuse not to act anyway, what could be better than one that says, “stop resolving”? You can say bye-bye to the guilt of blowing off yet another bunch of stuff you didn’t want to do in the first place. So, resolving to keep the list empty is an instant guilt stopper, which makes a happier you. Second, unlike most resolutions, which are botched within days, stopping is forever. At last, a resolution you can keep. Perfect.

So, just go off and be your old self. Let the world turn. Or, if you really, really want to, go out and improve yourself or your world. But stop writing about it and yammering about it and boring everyone you know with your list of good intentions. We all know where they lead. Either act or inact, but just say no to resolutions.

See you in the mirror.