On the Left Side


American Business Takes Over U.S. Government

Blog From
July 20th, 2011

WASHINGTON DC (AP) ­– The Chinese government this week sold the assets of the former U.S. government to American business interests for .00001 cents on the dollar. The fire sale brought the curtain down on an investment drama that ended poorly for both China and the U.S. After Uncle Sam defaulted on payments, the Chinese were forced to foreclose on significantly overvalued collateral securing their investment. Their own government in limbo since the foreclosure, Americans can breath a little easier with a coalition of compatriot businesses now in charge.

In a press conference yesterday, a coalition spokesperson explained that business takeover of government is necessary to restore the American value system. To avoid the devastating mistakes of the past, the coalition will run the country strictly on a profit motive.  Any endeavor that appears to be undertaken for altruistic reasons is viewed incorrectly.

The first action of the coalition is to sideline the U.S. Constitution. Once a viable document, it has become an excuse for masses of regulations that stifle business growth. Six Sigma is now the framework of the land.

Next up on the launch pad to oblivion are the three branches of government. There were just too many checks and not enough balance, with no hope for change. The destructive inefficiencies generated by large groups of dysfunctional people with a monopoly on laws build on each other eventually destroying the system they infect. It’s time to wipe that slate clean and start anew. Beginning immediately, the government is run by a Board of Directors populated by co-operating representatives of coalition members. Of course, Board members remain only as long as they successfully discharge their duties.

At the top of the Board’s agenda is simplifying tax-based revenue generation. All income, business and individual, is taxed at a flat tax rate of 5 percent. No deductions, no write-offs, no kidding. Tariffs, subsidies and other industry supports are also terminated.  However, business incubators will be funded to accelerate the successful development of growth industries.

Next on the list is a valuation assessment of government programs and agencies using best business practices. Those with the potential of at least breaking even will become independent cost centers. Those with benefit levels exceeding revenue generation capabilities will be cut. The national transportation infrastructure including, among other assets, roads and bridges, will be maintained and improved to promote interstate commerce.

American citizens who desire to participate one day in the benefits offered by government support programs can opt in by paying premiums to the agencies. These payments will serve as the basis for later eligibility payouts. The pay-as-you go mistakes of the Social Security program, like the branches of government, are history. Beneficiaries get what they pay for, augmented by revenue earned through prudent investment of the benefit fund.

Because people need it throughout their lives, healthcare is a special case. “Quality, affordable care” rolls easily off the tongue but, so far, has defied implementation. The subject requires further study. A panel of industry experts will recommend a delivery system to the Board before the end of the fiscal year.

One of the many advantages of a business coalition government is execution of long-term vision. Rather than being held hostage to frequent national elections that necessarily focus on the short term, the coalition can set and implement far-ranging goals.

Among them are self-help programs and services that strengthen the American economy through an educated workforce and full employment. As a first step, formal education from kindergarten through graduate schools will be provided gratis as will a wide range of community youth services. Similar investments in our future growth will follow.

Government regulations will be significantly streamlined, though not eliminated. While red tape’s stranglehold on business processes will be cut, reasonable safety measures to protect employees and the public will be preserved. At the end of the day, injured workers and consumers are bad for business. Arguably, poisoning the planet is even worse.

As far as the Department of Defense goes, it went, at least in name. It is now the Department of War because it should be called what it is. And there is only one justification for military conflict. Profit. Lots of it. No gain, no pain.

In broad strokes, that about does it. For those who think the world is controlled by a secret international society of business bad guys, they’re already running the government and everything else. For the rest of us, it would at least be worth a try.

See you on the left-side.


Posted in On the Left Side